alrightevans:

sometimes i mourn the fact we will never see what harry would be like if sirius had been proven innocent and raised him but then i remember that potter puppet pals is a thing that exists 

ven0moth:

if you knew me in 7th grade I’m sorry

bopeep:

the girl of my dreams is just me but with more money

cryoverkiltmilk:

winter is tough, but this is the price we pay for persephone being able to peg her husband in peace, so just accept it

clotpolesonly:

firebirdeternal:

taraljc:

xjessr:

ATTENTION ALL GIRLS: Being a ride or die means staying by a man’s side whether he has $500 or $5. Not when he cheats 10 times and you stay.

“Ride or Die” also means that if he ever hits you, he dies, and you call your bff for a ride.

Loyalty through hardship is one thing, loyalty through cruelty is another. 

Loyalty through hardship is one thing, loyalty through cruelty is another.

sailorbryant:

a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy:

Bad News: Our boss locked the keys inside the building.

Good News: We didn’t have to wait around for a locksmith.

Bad News: My boss finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my Tragic Backstory™. I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute girls.

Good News: A cute girl saw me do it.

Bad News: It was Maggie, and since she’s already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, she’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. She knows.

There are million dollar blockbuster movies that were less entertaining than the rollercoaster this post just took me on. 

trashboat:

trashboat:

i go absolutely ape shit buck wild when people ask me if i want to run errands with them like Let’s Fucking Go. and my mind absolutely maxes out of dopamine when they ask if i wanna stop for coffee. and if someone took me to the park id go bonkers in funcking yonkers

i got so high last night that i started ghostwriting for a golden retriever apparently

victorianho:

shock:

completely serious, tumblr should’ve been 16+ to begin with anyway. tumblr was incredibly detrimental to my mental health before i was an adult long enough to navigate it much differently. if you’re under 16 i would take this chance to engage with your interests & peers in a different and more constructive, positive way. 

if you are below 16 this website will absolutely hurt you mentally and emotionally. it did that for me and for literally everyone else i know. it honestly is still hurting me now as a 22 year old. please PLEASE find a more healthy environment to spend time in. i really can’t emphasize that enough.

jq37:

writing-prompt-s:

Humans start out at birth with milk white blood. The more crimes they commit, the darker their blood becomes. One day, you meet your soulmate. Skip a few years, and things are amazing… Until your soulmate trips, falls, and exposes black blood…

“Dude, I have not paid for music since 2006.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot that was a crime.”

“Me too, tbh.”

-fin-